Spring break!

Aruba stamp (the closest I'll ever get to waterskiing)




It's March -- that month when the nights are cold and days can be beautiful, except for the occasional tornado to hit downtown Atlanta. The crocus in the front yard has suddenly appeared, though -- a sure sign that April is coming and winter will be gone for good. Still, the high today may reach only 50 degrees, and I hope the weather makes its mind up soon. Its definitely time to think about warmer weather, sunshine, and cloudless blue skies: in other words, places to go on Spring break!

Postcard: Paul's action-packed Aruba, 1996

Somewhere like Aruba, where my friend Paul spent some time in 1996. He sent a card that describes the island's attractions sounding like a James Bond movie: "really action packed: scuba, dirt bikes, windsurfing, fire walking, topless bathing. The whole bit." The back of the card can't help but indulge in a bit of island boosterism: "With its beautiful people, beaches and climate the most popular place under the sun." Not to mention the windmills, the burros, the cooking! (Take a good look at the card by clicking on the link, above.) Aruba has it all ... and then some.

Postcard: idyllic Green Turtle Cay, Bahamas (from Hudson, 1997)

... which means Abaco in the Bahamas might feel a bit left out of where the action is, but that's okay. Here in "tranquil Green Turtle Cay," as the postcard calls it, they like it that way. (Even Bond needs a breather now and then.) My friend Hudson writes: "me and my two boys are either in the water or on the water during the daylight hours," and that the experience is "a mini-retreat of sorts." While I'm sure there's skiing and scuba and all sorts of fun for the Spring break overachiever, I'll take my nap on the (non-nude, thanks) beach covered in suntan lotion, spf45. Wake me for dinner.

Bahamas stamp, 1997

And the country has very nice stamps, too -- always a consideration when deciding where to go on Spring break ...

On the other side of the world, the island of Poros, Greece, is another place where you can "stay on the beach, very relaxing." Be warned: if you decide to spend time indoors in this beautiful spot (and why would you even think of such a thing, but I guess this does happen) my niece Joelle says "they don't believe in air conditioning." She was there in 1997, spent the first two days in Athens, and hadn't found a place with email yet on the island. I guess that's what makes it a real vacation. The card below is a view of the Aegean at Skiathos. No civic boosterism needed on the back of this one: the bright sunshine on the lapis-blue water speaks for itself. If you didn't have to come back from visiting a place like this on Spring break, why would you?

Postcard: Skiathos, Greece

Easter: Woody meets Christ, and the Rapture awaits

According to those who decide these things (devoutly religious people, I'm sure), Easter this year falls one day short the earliest date possible. Even the mystery-busting Snopes.com calls the calculation of Easter ... well, a mystery to the average person. I'll spare you the arcane calculations. It's enough to know that the scheduling of Easter relies on a full moon, the vernal equinox, and some eggs. The next time the holiday falls this early will be in the year 2160 -- and won't occur on its earliest date possible (March 22) until 2285. So, enjoy yourself. Have another chocolate egg.


Blank gift card, 2006. (from Joan?) Brite Muller, Berlin

The Bunny here knows his Easter schedule: there's a full moon behind him. There's no telling when the rapture will occur, though; the end of this mortal world has no specific date, thank goodness. But it certainly seems that Our Lord will return during some really nice weather. This is one of a series of rapture post cards by the artist Leon Bates, "as described in the Bible." The whole series is available at Christian bookstores or through "Bible Believers Evangelical Association," Sherman, TX.

The coming "RAPTURE" by artist Leon Bates as described in the Bible

The card arrived at the TV station where I worked in 1988. It was from Mr. Wright, who thoughtfully attached on the flip a folded religious tract with scotch tape. Underneath was a heartfelt message to increase the amount of religious programing on TV, "or I will have to watch a station with more Christian programing." I'm pretty confident Mr. Wright will not be left behind piloting an eighteen-wheeler like the one in the card when the rapture occurs.

Woody Allen has his own problems, and seems resigned to the whole mess humanity finds itself in, pre-rapture. My friend Rocky sent this from New York April 5, 1988, where he was preparing at Trinity Church for the Episcopalian priesthood. Not all were matters of the spirit for Rocky: "I'm going to Africa -- Kenya and Zaire -- and Egypt with my family in June, and I can't wait." Haven't heard from Rocky in 20 years. Maybe it's time for a Google search.

Postcard: Woody and Christ at the Met, 1963. Copyright 1978 Ruth Orkin

The Blue Fairy, and the Devil on Patrol

Pinocchio sticker added to back of post card

This sticker of Pinocchio (at left) is on the back of the very un-Pinocchio card pictured below, with the following printed in bold type:

"'Brave Pinocchio, you showed courage and a loving heart for your father. You are forgiven for your past misdeeds,' said the blue fairy."

The front of the card  (below) is one of the more mysterious images of my collection, and one that puzzles me still. Perhaps there's a whole subtext to the Pinocchio story I missed. A very, very disturbing one at that: there's a menacing sea creature, along with a dog leaping into the water (does the exclamation point signify he might be having a few doubts?), the fish with teeth ready to tear the flesh from his bones.

Strange. Maybe "Pinocchio" reads differently in the original Italian?

Postcard: Pinocchio. Artist: Sara Fonelli (1996)

At any rate, the card was sent by my sister Joan in 1996, from Minneapolis. She felt bad for not ordering some geraniums.

Another notch up on the anxiety scale is global annihilation. Below is the very realistic rendering of what such a colorful -- one might say once-in-a-lifetime -- event might look like: "The Devil on Patrol." Just to make sure the viewer knows that Satan is up to no good, it says so right there in parentheses.

On the flip, there's more: "No. 5, 1001 Ideas for Sinners." Designed by John Stalin for Artists' Rifles, London, 1983. With an advertising pitch aimed straight for the heart of any Armageddon-fearing paranoid or man-about-town:

Complete set of eighteen designs plus two bonus cards. Merry new year! Big Brother is watching YOU. Large color poster by John Stalin. Not subtle.

Published by SMERSH, Old Gloucester Street, London. The cold war was still hot. That Stalin name carried that old "Internationale" magic.

Yet another card from my sister Joan: 2006. A birthday this time. (I got a mobile for my living room. No geraniums, though.)

Postcard: The Devil on Patrol: (Up to No Good), John Stalin (1988)